


As rare as you

by riverray



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Everyone knows about Merlin's magic, F/M, Friendship, Gen, Merlin and Gwen being cute, Merlin is kinda a little shit, Protective Merlin, Sad Gwen, Sassy Merlin (Merlin), but only to Arthur, innocent Gwen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:14:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,511
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27748852
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riverray/pseuds/riverray
Summary: When Gwen doesn't feel good enough to be queen Merlin knows exactly how to cheer her up. With magic.
Relationships: Gwen & Merlin (Merlin), Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), but only mentioned - Relationship
Comments: 18
Kudos: 100





	As rare as you

**Author's Note:**

> Merlin and Gwen had the cutest friendship and I refuse to believe it would diminish when she became queen. 
> 
> I didn't really have an idea as to when this took place in the series. I mention Lancelot and Gwaine being alive but I seldom write them dead. I like all my stories having everyone alive and well and Merlin's magic already been revealed and accepted. Cause, ya know. 
> 
> Apologies for the errors

Guinevere pulls the thin shawl tighter over her shoulders as a cool, bitter breeze blows through her hair and attempts to wrap around her in a cold embrace. She shivers slightly, taking a deep breath and holding it in until the wind dies down, letting it out when she can relax in the still night air once more. 

Like this, Gwen finds being outside at this late hour relaxing, freeing even. While Summer is fading fast into a chilly Fall, Gwen feels grateful she can still find solace in these moments where she can be utterly and truly alone. 

Well, almost. 

If she listens carefully she can still hear the cheers and boisterous laughter of the knights and nobles celebrating in the castle below. Gwen was supposed to be there too, sitting obediently beside Arthur, drinking from her cup of sweet wine and eating whatever the servants graciously put in front of her, never once expecting a thank you or even a glance but thankful when she gave them one. That’s where her duty as queen had called her to be. 

But Gwen couldn’t stay. 

Not when the drunken laughter and joking had grown too loud, the sloshing of wine and ale soaking the table and knights, the food spilling off the plates and blatantly ignored by men and women alike who had grown up with the notion that food had little value when you always had enough of it. It ached, somewhere deep inside her, to see anything wasted in such a manner. It brought her back to the cold, unforgiving nights as a peasant girl when her and her brother had curled up together in the corner of their small home, hoping that their empty stomachs could wait until morning. Praying there’d be food in the morning to satisfy their hunger. 

She could still hear her brother’s stomach roar in protest when there wasn’t, feel the pain of hunger when all she got the coming night was some bread and just enough milk to wet her lips. 

It wasn’t always easy, being the Blacksmith’s daughter. Sometimes there was enough work to feed them for months. But other times… there was barely enough work to feed them even for a day. Those were the times she remembered the most. She couldn’t help but feel sick with guilt watching the nobles, in their drunken stupor, waste so much. Not after knowing the things she would’ve done as a child to have it. The things she did. 

Sometimes, Gwen felt like an imposter. Like the crown she wore was made for someone else. The gowns she adorned fitted to a noble woman's body- not hers. How could she call herself a noble? She often struggled to even say a few, meaningful words to the other noblewomen let alone fit in with them. 

In a world so different from the one she once knew Gwen often wondered what the hell she was actually doing here. 

And that’s why she had excused herself among the party goers. The feeling of not belonging just being too much. She had stood rather abruptly, though her actions went unnoticed by the drunken guests. Only Arthur had seen her in the corner of his eye and had reached out to grab her elbow, “Guinevere?” he mumbled, his speech a bit thick with alcohol. 

Gwen smiled at him the best she could, covering his hand with hers as she bent to place a small kiss at his brow, “I’ll be off for the night. Feeling a bit tired. You don’t mind, do you my dear?”

Arthur looked up at her, his eyes shining and his smile tilted as he nodded, “course. Goodnight, my Lady.”

“Goodnight, Arthur.” 

And with that she had briskly escaped, completely dropping her act of the ever elegant queen and rubbing her temple as she rounded the corner and hurried off to the only place she ever felt at peace in her new home. The bailey sat high above Camelot, in the middle of the castle, and around this time of night was scarce of any knight or servant. Gwen had always found it beautiful with it’s short cut grass and well kept flowers. A little piece of nature grown among these stone walls. She had walked to the far wall, the one where you could lean over the side and really take in the view of the village and village goers. You could even see beyond Camelot, the forests that seemed to stretch forever and mountains peaking out high above them. 

But her favorite was at night. The bailey gave the best view of the night sky. The twinkling stars and the brightly shining moon that hung just right over head. No chilly wind could send her back inside until she got her fill. It was where she felt more like herself again. So much had changed since she had fallen in love with Arthur. She fears maybe even she had changed. But the stars never did.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

Gwen nearly jumps out of her skin at the unexpected voice, slapping a hand over her heart and letting out a gasp as she turns quickly to see Merlin’s smiling face. 

“Merlin!” She scolds lightly, catching her breath, “don’t do that. You nearly gave me a freight.” 

“Fear I might’ve.”

Gwen looks at him again. He’s standing there, hands behind his back and that ever playful grin upon his face. She lifts an eyebrow at him, “what are you doing here?” then she turns serious, “is Arthur in trouble?” 

Merlin’s grin drops and he shakes his head, “what? No. No. Well, I mean, he’s pretty gone with the ale thanks to Gwaine. But Lancelot’s there so I think he’s safe.” 

Gwen nods, turning back towards the village and biting her lip.

“What about you?”

She glances at him, “what about me?”

“Are you in trouble? Or troubled?”

Gwen stares at him for a long moment, both trying not to be the first to break eye contact before Merlin squints his eyes and frowns so dramatically Gwen can’t help a giggle that escapes her lips, “no getting by you is there, Merlin?”

“Not many have,” the warlock replies, crossing his arms and Gwen knows he’s implying all the enemies that have tried to penetrate their walls and kill Arthur. “It’s nothing to worry about,” Gwen tells him softly and it sounds so pitiful to Merlin, “just… needed some air. I’m sure you can understand.”

“Yeah,” Merlin says quickly, “working for a coxcomb like Arthur can be quite the chore. I imagine it must be worse for you. Being married to him and all.”

Gwen raises her hand, “I’m sorry, come again? Coxcomb?”

“New one I’m trying out. Not sure if it’ll stick or not.” 

Gwen giggles again, “and what does Arthur think about that?”

“Same way he thinks about all the others. Never quite understands what they mean but coming from me knows they must be insulting.” 

The queen rolls her eyes but can’t fight the fond smile on her face, “you two.”

“Mmm,” Merlin hums and leans on the stone wall beside her, letting the silence stretch out between the two of them for a moment before asking quietly, “so… what’s got ya troubled? Is it Arthur? Do I need to magically loosen his cinch on his saddle or...give him two left hands?”

“You can do that?”

“I can try, for you.” 

Gwen laughs, shaking her head, “no. No of course not. It’s not Arthur. It’s not anyone just.. Me, I suppose.”

Merlin nods but realizes he really has no idea what she’s talking about and lets it show on his face. Gwen smirks and reaches over to pat his hand, “do you ever feel… not good enough? For what you’re supposed to be?”

Merlin blinks, staring ahead as past memories of his trials and endeavors flood in mind, “I’m familiar with the feeling, yes.” 

“Oh Merlin, how’d I get here?”

“Like in the bailey?”

“No, as queen.”

“Easy, you married Arthur.”

Gwen gives him that look and Merlin holds his hands up in surrender, “right. We’re going deeper than that.”

“I mean… am I supposed to be here? Queen of Camelot. Never in my lifetime did I ever think that’d be me. How can that be me?” 

“I see your predicament.” 

The queen looks at him with big eyes, “you do?”

Merlin nods, “I believe I do. You don’t feel worthy of your title.”

Gwen looks down, feeling silly when tears prick the back of her eyes. Worthy. Has she ever felt worthy? Of anything? She felt she failed her father as a daughter, Morgana as a friend, she’s even failed Arthur as a wife, regardless if magic was involved or not. How can she not fail as a queen. 

Merlin takes her hand, never minding it being completely inappropriate now that she was above him in many ways, she was still his best friend no matter what she became. “Gwen,” he says her name softly, earning her tear stained face, “you are worthy. Of all of it. Arthur wouldn’t have fallen in love with you if you weren’t. There are so many people who love you because you are worthy of it. Your husband, your subjects, your people. They all worship you willingly and freely. Is their confirmation not enough?”

Gwen sniffs and looks up at the sky, “it is. I swear it is. I just can’t help the feeling that sometimes I don’t… I don’t belong.”

“I understand.”

“Do you?”

“I was a boy with a lot of magic, much of which I didn’t always have the best control over, trying to make a place in a kingdom that killed magic people like me on accusations alone. Yes, I never felt like I belonged.”

Gwen swallows and tries to smile, feeling more at ease when Merlin swipes at a rogue tear on her check gently, “what changed?”

“It wasn’t quick. It changed over time. But I guess it started with a sweet girl who had a pretty smile and didn’t care that I was covered in rotten tomatoes or locked up in the stocks, she shook my hand anyways. And became a really good friend. A worthy friend.”

Guinevere’s smile doesn’t take much effort this time. It’s genuine and real and just as sweet as the first time she smiled at him all those years ago. Merlin returns it, sending her a wink that has Gwen laughing once more, slapping his arm and drying her eyes, “oh Merlin. You’ve always known how to make me feel better.”

Merlin shrugs, looking up at the sky like Gwen had done and she follows him, “beautiful aren’t they?”

“Yeah,” he agrees. He turns to her and sees the twinkle in her eye as she admires the stars above. “Want to see them up close?” 

The look Gwen gives him is almost comical, “you can’t do that… can you?”

He shrugs again and Gwen blinks at him owlishy. She’s never sure what Merlin is truly capable of. None of them are though, when they think Merlin’s not there, they discuss and argue over it. They all know he’s the most powerful warlock to walk the Earth and that he’s even been called magic itself. But no one, not Gwen nor Arthur, or Gwaine or Lancelot, or even Gauis have ever been able to understand what that all truly means. And Merlin seems to enjoy leaving them guessing. 

Suddenly Merlin’s eyes burn gold and that alone makes Gwen gasp. She’s never grown used to seeing her friend’s blue irises turn to molten gold or the glow of his warm magic that surrounds him and now her. She’s suddenly aware of the fact that the coolness of the night air is gone. She watches as Merlin mumbles something in the language only he and Gauis can really understand. Merlin’s hand is raised chest high, his palm skyward and fingers looking ready to grasp. Gwen looks up to what Merlin seems to be staring at and what she sees has her mouth falling open and eyes spilling wide. The stars seem to be shifting, trembling as one by one a handful start to fall lazily to Merlin’s palm. They gather all together, little balls of divine light as they dance off his palm and start to twirl around the two of them. 

Gwen watches in disbelief, laughing in gasps as the stars get close and then back away again. What she sees astonishes her. They look almost exactly as they do in the sky but their light is almost too bright up close and they emit a warmth that has her letting go of her shawl, letting it fall to the ground without a second thought. When she reaches out to touch one the sensation is like a vibration in her hand and up her arm. She turns to Merlin with a look of wonder.

“Merlin, this- they’re-... oh, they’re wonderful. They seem so alive!”

Merlin doesn’t respond, just twirls his hand around, sending a small star floating towards Gwen and watches as it orbits her. Gwen watches it’s every movement, “they seem so small. Are they really this small? How can we see them so well if they’re this small?”

“These are just pieces of the stars. Not the whole thing.”

“Are they... “ she looks at him with her big, brown eyes, full of innocence and eagerness “are they magic too?”

Merlin tilts his head as a small ball of star dances in front of his face, illuminating his gold eyes, “magic is in everything,” he tells her softly. 

Gwen’s head starts to swirl at that. If Merlin is magic and magic is in everything… she can’t even begin to fathom what her friend truly is. She looks at him just as she looks at the stars, “you’re incredible.”

Merlin blushes amongst his glowy eyes and the warmth of his magic surrounding them. Suddenly the stars begin to dance back up into the sky before shooting back to where they came from and Merlin’s eyes return to his icy blue. Gwen watches them go, almost forlorning, missing their warmth. Or Merlin’s warmth. Whatever it was. She’s still not sure. 

Merlin bends down and gathers up her shawl before wrapping it around her shoulders again, “we should head in, I can call upon your maid to help you get ready for bed.” 

“Merlin,” Gwen says suddenly, grabbing his hand in hers and looking up into his eyes intently, “what was that?” 

Merlin shakes his head a bit and shrugs, “just magic, Gwen. For you.” 

Gwen allows a smile to spread across her lips before she reaches for Merlin, wrapping her arms around his neck and laying her check against his shoulder, “thank you,” she tells him softly and he returns the hug, genuinely comforted that he could make her feel better.

“Anything for you, My Lady.”

“Even the stars?” Gwen asks teasingly.

But Merlin’s not joking when he says, “especially the stars. You deserve them and more.”


End file.
